Prayer of Release

Prayer of Release

I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return. 2 Timothy 1:12 NLT
Heavenly Father, I release to you the burdens that I have been carrying, burdens that You never intended for me to carry. I cast all my cares upon You—all my worries, all my fears. You have told me not be anxious about anything, but rather to bring everything to You in prayer with thankfulness.

Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to You. I release to Your will all that I am trying to manipulate; I release to Your authority all that I am trying to control; I release to Your timing all that I have been striving to make happen.

I thank You for Your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard all that I have entrusted to Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time, and in Your way.

Scriptures: Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7, Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6, Isaiah 26:3, Luke 11:2

Halloween Memories

I'm such a "fuddy duddy" ...never dressed up while my kids were growing up.  It was all about them and never me. I don't know why it didn't occur to me that if I dressed up, it would make it more fun for them!  But then again we had 4 kids and we probably couldn't afford to get us costumes!  KWIM?   Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was the same character every year for several years (gypsy) ... can't remember when I started that, but the last costume I remember wearing that my parents bought was "Clarabell" when I was about 5 or 6 yo.  But I was a witch a couple years back for Michelle's birthday party for Lucas on Halloween.  His bday is Nov 4th.  Anyway, wish I was more creative that way but not being a "party" person and being such a shy person for so many years... in fact, only basically came out of that when I was in my 40s I think, maybe that's why too.  I.did make clown costumes for my sons, Shawn & Patrick, when they were maybe 8 and 10 or so.  I have pics somewhere... and then my two grandkids wore the same costumes one year.  Need to find those pics!  and the one of me as the Witch.  LOL

Growing up Catholic, Being a Christian, and The Way It Is Today....

I had these thoughts running through my head the other day and hope I can remember exactly what it was I was thinking about.  I should come here right away when that happens but no, do I do that?  of course not!!!  LOL

Anyway, here are some of my thoughts:

Born in 1947, I was brought up Catholic.  I went to a Catholic school till grade 5.  Every day we went to church and every day we went to confession.  I remember those days vividly.  When I married, it wasn't in a Catholic church because my husband and I sort of married in a hurry.  NO, not because I was pregnant!  It was because he was in the U.S. Navy and we decided to marry because we "couldn't live without each other" so to speak.  Now this goes into another long story which I'll try to shorten ...


When he transferred out of the military base in Rhode Island at Quonset Point to Mayport Beach, Florida, I was just miserable without him around and one day I wrote to him.  Well, being the Catholic girl I was brought up to be, even though this was the 60s, I wrote to him and told him I was coming down to Florida to live and "you better not expect me to live with you!"  Well, you know, in the 60s, there was that "free love" and the beginnings of what we know today of young couples living together before marriage (or even never marriage).  I was not going to be one of those because it really was against my religion!  LOL

So, we decided to get married on short notice, no wedding, no shower, no reception, just marry and dinner with my parents.  Wayne's parents were none too happy to hear that but we were in love.  What could I say?

Ok, not to get into our early marriage, I wanted to talk about today's Christianity and how it has affected me and Wayne too.

Anyway, I was having these thoughts about Christians, about our Catholic Faith, and the fact that we are now attending a
non-denominational Church.  This Church is going back to the teachings from the bible when Jesus was alive.  We are suppose to "get baptised" when we become members of this Church.  We haven't done that as of yet.  We were baptised when we were babies in the Catholic Church.  Some think if they are Baptists for example, that a Catholic "hasn't been saved" because they were not baptised at an older age.  But the way I look at it is this:  Yes, we were baptised as babies, but we did make our First Communion around 1st or 2nd grade and then later when we were teens, we made our Confirmation.  

Confirmation is regarded as the perfection of Baptism, because, as the introduction to the Rite of Confirmation states:

by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed. (taken from http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/p/Confirmation.htm)

I believe that Confirmation is to confirm to Christ that we will live our lives in the Catholic Faith and as Jesus taught us.  I believe that Confirmation sort of takes place that baptism that so many other religions do at an age where one knows the difference between right and wrong, for example.  Also, someone once said to me that I was not a Christian if I was Catholic, that Catholics are NOT Christian, and that is just an insult.  

Now having said all that, we still attend this non-denominational Church and I am considering getting baptised and become a member of the Church.  But it still bothers me because I am still connected to my Catholic Faith and so is Wayne it seems.  He is not ready to be baptised.  I'm willing to do it because I see nothing wrong in doing that.  We will probably attend this Church till the day we die, so why not?  It's just that I am still having those connections with the Catholic church.  I think when you are brought up a strict Catholic, (or any other religion for that matter), it is hard to totally let go.  I still believe in the Blessed Virgin.  I always will I'm sure.  It doesn't mean that we can't be good church goers at this church or good participating members of this church.  

Because we are raising two of our grandchildren, we wanted them to get some Christian bible teachings and we feel this Church is a good place for them.  When I tried years ago to get them baptised in the Catholic Church, we were told it would take 2 years and that just shocked me.  Why?  Because I was taught that if you weren't baptised as a baby, and you died, then you were put in Limbo and wouldn't go to Heaven.  The fact that they would make the children wait 2 years to get baptised just threw all those teachings out the door for me.  That's when I started looking elsewhere.

Not sure I'm making any sense, but those are my thoughts.

...To Be Continued...

Rough Night

Had a rough night.  Wayne had pains in his stomach (constipation) and then started vomiting.  Neither of us got any sleep but he is resting pretty good right now.  Gave him some chicken noodle soup and then he went to sleep.

I wanted to go buy a bale of hay and put it in the front of the house with the 2 scarecrows we have for a Fall/Halloween decoration.  I might go check it out. 

I haven't done much today.  I do want to reformat my hard drive b/c I have a lot of garbage on it and think there is some malware causing me problems with my keyboard.  So I might get the nerve to actually try it.  Have done it with XP before but not with this Vista.  I do have the CDs I created when I got this laptop so it should work ok.  Just need to get the courage to do it.  I love my laptop and wouldn't want to be w/o it and can't afford to pay anyone to fix it. 

Wayne's Walking Exercise

Here is a video of Wayne using his walker.  He has "drop foot" in his left foot, so you can see where that foot doesn't lift up the way it should.  Anyway, this is in front of our house.  There is noise in the background but you can definitely see how he is doing.  He has improved a lot.  Still needs to continue his exercises and walking exercise as well.

A good day

 
We don't get many good days these days ...at least I don't.  But today was good.  Gotta take the "good days" when you get them; life is way too short!  It started out with my waking up just before 6:30 am.  Actually I was suppose to "sleep in" but for some reason my body decided not to.  LOL  So... I got up.  When I woke up, the first thing I thought of was to update the medical file and print out all the cancelled checks for DHS (Dept of Human Services) to take there today after Wayne's DR. appt at 11am.  I got them all done just in time for us to leave.  Hopefully  submitting these changes to DHS will help Wayne get a better medicaid insurance and not that $1804 mo. deductible he has now. The DR said all the tests (A1C, INR, Blood Pressure) were good but reminded us that he is "high maintenance" so it is important we strive to get that insurance changed.  What is "high maintenance", you ask?  Well, it is because of his disability that he is susceptible to infections and he has to be watched closely.  He still has those blood clots in his lungs and in his legs which is why he is on blood thinner, thus the INR test he has to have frequently.  The DR said he has to be watched every 2 weeks for now but later it will be once a month.. later, when the DR feels it is safer to wait a month.


I sit here and watch Wayne watch those "old" TV shows, many of them Game Shows and think about what he would be doing if he wasn't stuck in that wheelchair.  He'd be out on the football field watching our grandson's practice OR helping coach as he did for many many years.  We'd be going to movies once or twice a month.  Now when we go he has to sit in the front row.  We would be going out to eat every Friday like we use to ...we haven't done that in a while.  Having said all that, he does seem to enjoy those game shows and the judge (court) shows too. 


He doesn't remember things.  He has to be reminded frequently.  I'll be glad when the DR can get that Brain MRI for him ...we're waiting on the insurance to change so we can afford it. 


All in all, today was a good day.  I got our medical file organized and up to date.  Got the new info to DHS along with his SSD letter about his approval in November.  We stopped for lunch.  I know we shouldn't have but it was our "alone" time and thought it was worth it.





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Slow Cooker Sunday

Got up a little later than normal today.  Managed to put a roast in the slow cooker with potatoes, carrots, celery, garlic, onions and cream of mushroom soup (with about 1/2 can of water).  I did brown the meat.  Don't usually do that but tried something different today.  Decided to brown the onions and garlic and then the meat, just outsides. 

We are hoping to be able to go to our grandson, Lucas' football game today.  He's in JV (junior football) and he is almost 11 years old; turns 11 next month.  If the weather isn't too bad, we'll be there at least for 1/2 the game.  Wayne can't be in too cold or any rainy weather.  But he wants to go.  He told me this morning I have to take him to a stadium so he can practice walking up the steps with his walker.  I told him he'd better find someone more courageous than I for that!  LOL  So, Brandon or Shawn (our sons) can do that with him.  Not me.  LOL  First of all, he hasn't been able to go up steps at all, so he has to take "baby steps" first.  KWIM?

Have a good day everyone!

Are you on a limited income?

Lately I have been thinking about family members and others who are on a limited income.  Although I knew what it meant to be on a limited income, I really didn't understand the effects of that.  I just thought when you get older, and you no longer work so you are on a limited income that you simply adjust accordingly.  I never really considered what it is you have to go through to adjust.  Of course, the hope would be that you would be 'ready' for that. 

Now that Wayne and I are on a limited income and our income has been reduced upwards of $3,000 per month, I am finding it difficult to cope.  We have food stamps, Thank God, but there are so many other things to consider, like medical insurance being the No. 1 in my mind along with medical bills we owe. Christmas comes to mind and now wondering how we will be able to provide Christmas gifts to the grandkids.  

I know that God never closes a door without opening another.  Just the other day we found out Wayne will now get SS-disability so that door was opened. 

Having said that, we are still trying to adjust to the situation at hand with Wayne being disabled, my caring for him, and the closed doors.  I pray to God for patience in waiting for another door to open.